Does my butt look big in this?
by BornThisWay
Summary: Johnny Nitro Melina fic. Didn't he know that was one thing you should never say to your girlfriend! First attempt at a Nitro Mel fic, feedback is highly appreicated, please read and review


So here I am trying my hand at a random Melina/Nitro fic. Go figure. This is extremely out of character, and yes, Jacky I can write a fic without Lilian in it ... it was tempting though.

I disclaim. Anything you recognize, whether it be characters, storylines, anything, I don't own. I've just got them on loan, and yeah Vince I dare you to try and stop me.

Feedback is highly appreciated because this is a new pair for me .. thanks.

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"Johnny?" Her voice held an element of concern, her eyes narrowing as she examined herself.

The man in question opened his eyes to see what his girlfriend wanted. Squinting under the fluorescent glare, he groaned in pain and closed his eyes, wincing as a wave of pain shot through him. It was the night of New Year's Revolution, mere hours after his match with Jeff Hardy inside a steel cage. It had been his first, and if he had any say in it, his last. Cursing under his breath, he stretched his leg slowly, still feeling a slight pull in his groin from where he'd landed on the cage door. That was definitely going to hurt in the morning. "Yeah babe?"

There was a pause and a sharp intake of breath as he waited for her to respond. Sighing softly, Johnny reached out for her to offer comfort, for whatever reason, but still she ignored him. "Mel, what's wrong?"

"Does this skirt make my butt look big?" Melina pouted, hers eyes widening in dismay.

Johnny rolled his eyes, not even turning to look at her. "No, Mel your butt does not look big in that," he recited automatically, having done so so many times before. "Your butt is gorgeous and shapely and there is no way that it could ever be considered as .. uh .. big."

Nostrils flaring she turned to him, waving an accusing finger. "Johnny, you're not even looking!!" She whined.

Realizing he was fighting a losing battle, Johnny cracked open one eye. "Melina, you're wearing the Victoria's Secret lingerie I bought you for Christmas, trust me, I would be able to tell you if your butt looked big in it. I mean, your huge backside is staring me right in the face," he joked feebly. Aghast, her jaw dropped and she deftly slapped him on the arm. Sulking now, she turned away from him and moved to sit in a chair on the other side of the hotel room. "Mel, c'mon, I was joking."

"You jerk!" She burst out suddenly, stabbing a finger at the television screen. "I was talking about in the video game, not right now!!"

Turning his head to the side now, Johnny could see an interactive Melina Perez making her way to the ring to verse her opponent. Staring at the screen, his eyes widened slightly in amusement. Chuckling softly to himself, he trained both eyes on the Diva's entrance, focusing intently on her lower half. In all honestly, her butt did look kinda big ... but the hell he was going to tell her about it. "Babe, it's just a video game, you look gorgeous," he coaxed. "Who put this stupid idea into your head?"

"No one." Melina said stubbornly, turning her nose up in the air.

"C'mon, who was it? Maria? Candice?"

"It was no one!" She replied sullenly. "Just a stupid fan ..."

"Since when do you care what the fans think?" Johnny asked, raising an eyebrow to the sky. "Whatever they say to you is directed toward your character, not you, okay? We've been through this Mina ..." His voice had softened now, using his pet name for her in the hope he'd be able to distract her and change the topic. Johnny knew that he had to placate her and bury this issue as soon as possible or he'd never hear the end of it. "You know that most of what they say is simply said in the heat of the moment, they were only saying hurtful things because they wanted Jeff to win tonight."

"I guess ... " Melina said slowly. She knew it was true, but before she could see the sense in his argument, her fiery Latina temper surfaced. "But you obviously think my butt is big, or you wouldn't have said so!!"

Johnny struggled to push himself up, his arms almost failing to support him even as he rested on them. "Mel."

Raws self-proclaimed dominant Diva folded her arms in disgust and turned to face the wall, lower lip trembling. It was becoming increasingly obvious to the former Intercontinental Champion that something more was going on here. "Go away."

"I'm not going anywhere," he said in amusement. "What is wrong with you tonight? You've always been proud of your, dare I say it, extremely sexy backside up until now ..."

Almost unconsciously, Melina strutted up to the mirror that adorned one half of the far wall. "It does look good, doesn't it," she almost purred. Spinning around slowly, she continued to examine herself from several angles until she realised what she was doing. "But that's not important right now!" She cried, stamping her foot. "You said my butt was big!!!"

"I also said it was gorgeous," Johnny pointed out haplessly.

"But you said it was big!!"

"I say a lot of things I don't mean!" He cried in his own defense. "Like tonight, I said good luck to Jeff before our match. Did I mean it? No, why would I be wishing him luck when I wanted to win?"

"That's soooo not the same," Melina wailed dramatically as she collapsed down on the bed beside Nitro. "This isn't about a stupid match, this is way more important!!"

Silence descended over the room. "Are you saying my match wasn't important?"

Swallowing nervously, the dominant Diva stared up at her boyfriend meekly, hoping he would overlook the fact that she had just dismissed him completely. "Um .. no?"

Glaring at her now, Johnny rolled onto his side and looked the other way. "Gee thanks Mel," he shot back sarcastically. "I put my balls on the line tonight – literally! - and still!You care more about your large behind!!"

Her jaw dropped. Of all the things to say to a girl .. did he not realise what he was doing? How dare he!! "You did it again!"

"Did what?" Johnny asked wearily, knowing exactly what he'd done.

"You said my butt was big!!" She cried indignantly.

Gathering his strength now, Johnny pushed himself off the bed. "Mel, I just can't win with you tonight! What the hell is going on?"

"You know exactly what .." she started bitterly, to which he held up his hands in surrender.

"Don't even. You know what? I'm outta here."

"Good," she challenged. "Go."

"Too late," he retorted. "I'm gone."

Grabbing his phone and his wallet he stormed out of the room slamming the door behind him. Melina winced as the sound reverberated around the room, followed by a crash outside. Glancing at her watch, she began to count silently. One, two, three ... on cue, her ring tone blasted through the room. She sighed, and moved toward the door as her phone rang. Exasperated, she answered it without even looking at the call display.

"What do you want Nitro?"

"Can you come outside?" Johnny asked in embarrassment, looking at the hallway ceiling. How was he supposed to know that his legs wouldn't be able to carry him, leaving him to fall and land on his back in the middle of the hall? Cursing inwardly he shifted his leg from where it was propped up against the wall. Oh man, could he feel his grapefruits swelling now. He should have known that storming off in his current condition was a dumb idea. "I, uh, need some help."

"Do I have too?" She asked caustically.

"C'mon Mina," he sighed, hoping that she would come to her senses and help him back into the room before one of the guys came out to see what all the racket was about. This wasn't new for them. It seemed every Pay- Per-View lately came with a post-show private screening of Melina's volatile temper. This had to be the third time he'd been in this situation in the last six months. As far as Johnny was concerned, his girlfriend should have come with a warning label attached. Something like, "warning, prone to explode upon occasion". Or better yet, "loud noises within, proceed with extreme caution". Shaking his head, he turned his attention back to the matter at hand. "Babe, let me in. I want to talk to you."

"Whatever," she muttered ungratefully. "I don't know why I should, you'll probably just insult me again." Hearing him about to interrupt she dropped the phone in contempt. "I'll 'big butt' you," she grumbled under her breath. "We'll see how you like it."

Pulling open the door she saw her boyfriend collapsed in the hall. "I guess I didn't make it very far," he muttered sheepishly. "Can you help me back inside?"

Rolling her eyes Melina looked at him incredulously. "You expect me to be able to lift your massive ego back into the room?"

"I don't know," he bit back. "Can your massive butt take it?"

"Depends. Can I use a forklift? My butt might be big, at least in your opinion, but at least I can keep it in my pants!!" Her eyes shifted to his boxers, where his bulging thigh and groin muscles had swollen so badly they were straining against the cloth material.

"You've never complained about that before," Johnny said lecherously, propping himself up against the wall.

"Well it wasn't like I had a hell of a lot to work with then, did I?" Arching an eyebrow now she took pity on him and slipped an arm around his waist helping him to stand. Slowly, they inched their way back into their room, Johnny wincing with each step.

"What are you trying to say?" He asked weakly as he tried to navigate himself on to the bed. "That was a bit below the belt Melina, way to hit me where it hurts!"

"Johnny." Melina deadpanned. "I think it's a bit late for me to do anything down there, let alone hit it. The cage took care of that."

Groaning at her lame attempt at humor, Johnny watched as his girlfriend moved around the room, turning off the lights and the television, opening the curtains. The moon filtered across the floor as she slipped into bed beside him. Not a word was spoken as he lifted her hand in hers and began to caress it, trying to slow her erratic pulse. He knew that she'd gotten herself all worked up for a fight but he wasn't going to give her the satisfaction, not tonight anyway. Sighing softly, Melina reluctantly turned to face him. "Why are you being such a bitch Mina?"

"It's nothing." Burying her face into her chest, he almost believed her. Almost.

"It's not nothing, it's something," The two-time Intercontinental Champion soothed. "Tell me what's up Melina." She mumbled something against him, and even straining to hear her he couldn't quite make it out. "I didn't get that, can you repeat?" he said teasingly.

"Iwasscaredtonight."

"Huh?"

"I was scared, okay?!"

Frowning, he pushed her to explain further. "Scared? Mel, but why?"

"I didn't want you to get hurt!" She spat out hotly. "Okay? I was worried about you."

"It's okay to be scared," he told her lightly, turning his head on the pillow so their faces were inches apart. "You think I don't worry about you when you're at ringside and I'm in some ridiculous gimmick match? Of course I do. I just don't start fights over it."

"I never started a fight over it," Melina protested loudly. Johnny raised an eyebrow, indicating he saw things a little differently.

"Then what the hell was that all about? "Does my butt look big in this?"" He mimicked. "Are you trying to make me angry at you?"

Relenting, she lowered her voice. "Okay, so I did. I started a fight with you to try and ... make myself feel better?" She finished sheepishly. "I was so relieved that you're going to be okay .. I tried to channel all my fear into distracting myself and ... you know how I like to fight," she blushed. "I never ... I never meant to yell at you."

"Mina, it's okay," he said brushing a lock of hair out of her eyes.

"It's not," she insisted, her anger subsiding. "Your matches are important. Johnny, I ..." Her apology was cut short as Johnny captured her lips with his, cradling her cheek. Gently pulling her towards him, he wrapped an arm carefully around her waist, trying not to hurt himself further. Moaning against his mouth, Melina arched her back, allowing herself to curl up against Johnny's body. Eagerly she leaned into him, kissing him fervently.

"I love you Mina," he mumbled against her lips before pulling back breathless.

"Love you too Johnny."

"No more fighting, okay?" He asked her quietly, gently rubbing her lower back.

"But the best part of fighting with you is the making up bit," she pouted slightly. He kissed her nose causing her to smile slightly.

"In that case ..." he grinned. "Yeah, Mina, your butt does look big in the video game."

Reeling back, Melina looked like she'd been slapped. Oh no, he hadn't. Smacking him across the face, she leapt off the bed and grabbed her bag. Heading to the door, she left her bewildered boyfriend in her wake. A puzzled look upon his face he gingerly pulled himself up against the headboard.

"Mina?? What'd I say ??!!"


End file.
